Gluten-Free Biscuits and Gravy

When I learned that my fiancee needed to go gluten-free, I approached it with the defensive enthusiasm of a virgin on a third date. Short motivational speeches to no one in particular kept the cowering terror at bay; scrubbing any invisible crumbs off of the knives, pans, forks, counter, and ceiling stood in for pacing and posing and shellacking my hair until it was sturdy enough to protect my fragile ego (not that I ever did that before a date). I didn't like being a baker anyway, I reasoned: this would be an excellent opportunity for a fresh start. And so on, and so forth, for a good couple of weeks, until a craving hit me like a tire iron to the back of the knees:

Biscuits.

the sort of meal that had been tempting me.
image source: flickr user su-lin
used under the creative commons license

Buttery, flaky biscuits. Golden and godly biscuits, freshly split, so hot they give you steam burns but you keep eating them anyway. Biscuits skated around a cast-iron pan to sop up gravy so thick it's almost soap.

So I shuffled around the fancy grocery store in a kind of mournful daze, holding up bags and boxes and jars, staring at labels that could have been written in Hieroglyphs for all the good they were doing me. I asked Dr. Google, who gave me recipes for things like "lime-encrusted sea jelly biscuits with rosemary-Sauternes gravy" and "wheat-free egg-free soy-free sugar-free dairy-free vegan carob biscuits with almond butter gravy."

That was roughly a year ago, and I've been trying to make simple gluten-free biscuits and gravy ever since. My fiancee thinks I cook because I love her, but underneath my smiling oven-mitted facade has been a drooling beast just waiting for a reasonable biscuit and a pan of sausage gravy. All my trial and error, the cookbook-highlighting, the late nights when I stagger home smelling of pork fat and flour from the wrong side of town: all for this one meal.

(The really idiotic part is how simple it is.)

GLUTEN-FREE BISCUITS AND SAUSAGE GRAVY
Biscuits:

• 1 c. of your favorite GF baking mix. Make sure it includes tapioca flour or starch, xanthan gum, and rising agents.
  
• 1 rounded T dry buttermilk powder
  
• 1/4 c. butter-flavored shortening
  
• 1/3 c. milk (I used diluted evaporated milk)
  

Gravy:

• 1/4 lb. gluten-free pork breakfast sausage. I like Jamestown, but anything will do as long as it's GF and fatty.
  
• Roughly 1 c. milk
  
• Pinch of Bell's seasoning/ poultry seasoning
  
• Salt and pepper to taste
  
• Roughly 2T GF baking mix
  

Preheat oven to 375 F. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper, or grease it.

Heat sausage in a medium skillet (pref. cast-iron) over med-low, breaking it up with a spatula.

In large bowl, mix 1 c. baking mix and dry buttermilk together with a fork. Scoop out little pieces of shortening with a knife and flick them into the flour mixture until you've added 1/4 c. Use the knife and fork to cut the shortening into the flour until it looks like cat litter. You can use your fingers to help it along, but work lightly and quickly so as not to melt the shortening with the heat from your hands.

Check on the sausage while you're making the biscuits. You want it to brown eventually, but more important here is rendering the fat. The sausage should be getting smaller and smaller in addition to browner. Lower heat is better than higher.

Work the 1/3 c. milk into the biscuit flour a little at a time. Again, don't overwork the dough, but be careful not to add too much liquid. As soon as it all holds together in a ball, roll the dough out gently (or push it with your fingers) on a floured board until it's about as thick as the first joint of your middle finger. Cut biscuits with a biscuit cutter or the rim of a glass, reshape the dough gently, and repeat until you've used up the dough. There's usually one real ugly biscuit by the end, but cook it anyway or be haunted by the ghosts of a thousand glaring frugal grandmothers.

Bake the biscuits on the cookie sheet at 375 F for about 11 minutes. Don't let the dough sit, get it right in the oven.

The sausage should be about done by this time. Scoop it out of the pan and save it in a bowl or something, and turn the heat up to medium or so. Add baking mix (there's usually enough left on the board you rolled the biscuits out on) in about a 1:1 ratio to the fat in the pan to make a roux (flavor paste).

Feel free to use plain GF flour instead of baking mix here; I just use the mix because it's convenient. Stir and scrape the flour/ fat mixture in the pan until it's just a little brown*, then pull it off the heat and add milk, a little at a time, stirring constantly. Return to low heat, season to taste, add back the sausage meat, and cook it gently until it's a good consistency-- liquid, but not too runny.

Ding! The biscuits are done! Serve split open, in a shallow bowl, topped with gravy.

*Or risk having your gravy look like semen, which some folks are fine with.